Let's talk about burlesque. I'm into it. No, I don't do it. The leg strength that enables me to bike and run, oh, I don't know, 70.3 miles, unfortunately, renders me a terrible dancer. But that doesn't keep me from trying. Why? Because life's a bitch and then you die, so why not take a burlesque class.

Initially, I was going to write a book report on burlesque because there are so many misconceptions about it, but you know what? Ain't nobody got time for that. If you're so inclined, here's the Wikipedia page. I like to describe burlesque as a variety show with boobs.

Let me back up and tell you how I entered this strange, amazing, tasseled world. A few years ago, the universe presented me with the gift of Freya West. She entered my world in a cloud of glitter, tattoos and blue hair, exuding self confidence and positive, badass energy. She's kind of like a tattooed unicorn. Freya is one of my favorite people and she just happens to be the Headmistress of Nashville's own burlesque school, Delinquent Debutantes.

I started going to burlesque shows and LOVED them. Then Freya opened a dance studio down the street from my house. I backed the Kickstarter to fund the studio and earned 3 class credits. Freya suggested I try Floorwerk and/or Bumps n' Grinds. I had a posse of girlfriends who wanted to go with me, and they wanted to do Bumps n' Grinds, so we booked it.

Y'all, this class is the most fun I've had all year. I laughed so hard my face hurt. And I learned a dance routine! When I came home and showed the routine to John, he stared at me like he was seeing me for the first time and asked how much the classes cost and how often can I go.

The class is called Bumps n' Grinds. I expected to learn some dirty, Laker Girls dance routine. Turns out, I was totally wrong. Bumps are hip bumps. Grinds are swinging your hips. Freya taught us how to do these things. Once we got it, she taught us how to travel while bumping and grinding and then she taught us how to add arm movements. It was awesome, tough and hilarious. I loved every minute of it!

I haven't been back yet because I got sick and now it's Thanksgiving, but I'll be back, probably next week. Bumps n' Grinds is on Tuesdays at 6pm. Go with me! Classes are $15 and you sign up here. The easiest way to get info is to like their Facebook page.

This post is already too long, but before I go, I want to stress how open and empowering the environment is at Delinquent Debutantes. This studio is for all ages, shapes and sizes. Freya calls it "bawdy positive". She also says, "If it jiggles, you're doing it right." Let go of your hang-ups and come dance with me! I'm looking at you, new moms.

*If you're a cancer patient or survivor, check out Be Well Burlesque and come dance with me for free!

P.S.  Read my interviews with Burlesque Performer, Freya West and Burlesque Student, Becca Kemp!

P.P.S. Are you a diet industry drop-out? Me, too!